Saviors and saints, devils and heathens alike

I am pmsy and gross. My skin is gross, I am bloated, and worst off my emotions are doing things to me that I really don't care to discuss cause I'm like "this can't be normal".

Like my life is so peachie effin keen right now that I wouldn't be having depressive issues.

So make me smile fuckers, post some pix or funnie anecdotes or something.

My bosses are flippin' ruhtarded lately. I am going to take both of them by the neck and SLAM their skulls together. Patrick is fine. Although we are TOTALLY fuxxored cause that bastard is taking off the fucking month of October for his wedding & honeymoon. Seeing as we have no real estate secretary, he's been doing his own shit, and HAAHHA, no one knows what's going on.

Terrifying, really.

Oh, and Mister turned off the fucking radio today. *boggle* Uh, excuse me? We're listening to fucking PLJ for chrissakes. Ain't like there's some crazy shit on there. Richele listens to the internet radio for Z100, and that's decidedly more obnoxious than this. I'm annoyed. It's too quiet in here and it's weird.

And I have clients who popped in and couldn't seem to understand the concept of "if you have any changes to your documents, please call our office so we can make them prior to your signature". Thanks for letting me print and grommet everything so NOW you can make changes. Hate. You. Last name is Payne, and ya know what. THEY ARE.

In other news, has anyone tried the M&M Premiums? I'm currently chowing down on the raspberry almond ones and HOT DAMN are they derishus. And they're pretty. :) I can't stop eating them. *hides them in desk drawer*

I am friggin HUNGRY. I didn't eat a whole lot last night. Although I drank most of a bottle of wine cause, well, I could. It was there.

I watched Heroes last night. OH! PEOPLE ON MY FLIST!! I have no teevee. I watch all my shows the NEXT DAY online. So could you not comment with spoilers and stuff? Spank you :) NOT that anyone has, but I want to pre-empt the strike.


Kegger tonight. Frickin' sweet.

And the sun will set for you
The sun will set for you
And the shadow of the day
Will embrace the world in grey
And the sun will set for you

Song reminds me of my cousin Salvatore. It was the last song on before the EVIL MUSIC was killed. :(

Randomness. BEERHOLD!!

I AM COLD I AM COLD I AM COLD I AM COLD I CAN'T FEEL MY FEET THEY ARE WET AND COLD I HATE THIS WEATHER.

It's only raining. But it's freezing rain. So there are puddles of ICE WATER all over.

We've been salting our sidewalks, but there is still an icy patch. Some fucking douchecock, who had NO business over here, comes in and goes "It is treacherous out there, and you should salt." and we were like "UH. WHO are you? And we have. Twice." and this fucker goes "IT'S NOT GOOD ENOUGH!" and leaves.

A) It's really not OUR job to salt. It's the management company's. We do it cause it takes the management company FOREVOOOR to get their stupid asses over here. In fact, we were call 12 or something complaining TO said company to get someone over here. So they sent a truck, they drove slowly through the parking lot (not salting or ANYTHING) and then left.

WTS?!?!?!

B) DICK! Who are you!??!! You aren't a client, you weren't even coming here, you walked DOWN THE SIDE WALK and harassed someone else!! WHO ARE YOU!! FUCK OFF AND DIE!!! I kept wishing he'd fall. He did the walking shuffle thing shaking his head like, how dare we let ice accumulate.

C) I went outside and ran errands and STILL managed not to die. Boots are wet, socks are wet, but I DIDN'T SLIP ONCE. Fucking tool.

D) I hate humans.

Wow. I didn't realize what a rant would slip out. But I really do.

Anyrate. Part of my erranding was going to the Post Office!! So Tia, Amy, & Christy have stuffff coming towards them. Once Kayla emerges, she shall too.

My big boss is still in Hawaii for TWO MORE WEEKS! And he only really calls in once a day, around 2. Life is great. :D

OOOH!! I can put my feet on my computer it's nice and warm. MMM! Yay puter.

I ate two pieces of pizza and like, 16 ounces of soda. I am so fat and bloated today. Even though I went to the gym and kicked my own ass AGAIN.

I need sex.

OH MY GOD we have a lot of Dutch people here. I swear to god. We just had three Dutch people come in back to back. That got Patrick & I talking. Our "Van" section of wills is in TWO file drawers. JESUS.

So I said we need to have the perfect Dutch name. Ebenezer den Van Der Stra. Or something. That would be like. Perfect.

I HAVE TO PEE! Effin soda. I'm all caffeinated.

I can't wait to go out tonight. Even if it is SHITEFUL. Whatever. Yay going out.

*runs around the office like Corholio*

GOD my feet are cold.

Dood, someone sent Patrick a congrats thing for passing NJ & FL bars, and he got wine and chocolate.

I walked back in from lunch and he was like "BOOZIN IT UP!! GRAB A GLASS BAYBEE!!"

So I'm sippin merlot from a coffee cup.

Heh.

*sips*

The bosses aren't here.

So Patrick brought in Nala.



She's a Viszla. She barks too much, but she's a good dog for the most part :)

- Verizon, can suck my left ovary. I called to get the dry line for DSL. They want $199 for an installation of a data line in the house. Excuse me? I date a techie GOD. I don't need your stinking help. They also want $42.95 a MONTH for service, orrrrr, if I agree to use them for a year, $34.95 a month. Uhm. Ew? For $10 more a person, I could get cable! But then, does that screw up my free cable ride? Who knows. I must have a discussion with the roommate. Not to mention the $19.95 they want for shipping and handling of said modem, and if I want a wireless modem, I need to give them $14.95. Fah. Que.

- Car insurance can suck my RIGHT ovary. I called NJM on my insurance. Since I had a speeding ticket (DAMMIT) last year, I can't get NJM. HOWEVER, they sent me to NJ Re. NJ Re can kiss mah white ass. Cause they want to charge me $2,524 a YEAR for insurance. Right now, First Trenton wants $1,920 a year from me. I call Bethany. She says she can give me about $1,980 a year. So apparently, even though Loni is a friggin MORON, I'm staying with him, cause his rates don't suck my soul away. It was good to know that the idiot isn't screwing me.

HOWEVER. I'm destitute. It sucks. My stepfather owes me $758.03 so far on the loan my mother promised in August that she'd pay since it's HIS money that went up HIS nose. However, I have not seen dime ONE of that. Money, if I had, would be USEFUL since my car insurance wants $508.41 from me for my last month's payment AND the new payments. Which, when calculated, would be for the next four months at $358.03 (for the last two, it's $358.04).

I can't pay that. I can't. It is NOT in the cards. I just don't have that kinda cash.

So I called Loni and left a message, and am trying to figure out if I can change my payment schedule, since apparently I have as much money to my name as I did in college. Which is confusing.

- Today was our office lunch for the end of tax season. Woo. We went to Applebee's. It was nice. Patrick & I shared some brownie evil thing. It was good.

- I have off tomorrow. I have so much to do in that one day, that I don't believe I'll be doing ANY of it, thanks. I think I will sleep, perhaps make punch, and find something to wear for this weekend. I don't need clean clothes anyway. I'm dirty.

- I have a client coming in. He's a TOTAL retard when it comes to when he's supposed to do things. I swear. He's actually my aunt's client, but since he didn't call TWO HOURS ago when he was supposed to, I get stuck having him sign his bullshit. Which is annoying. Then I have my boss asking me stupid questions. Which I don't know the answer to since it's not my client.

- I did good today, I guess, on bitching out a review attorney. Jim D. at the bank says that we should go out to lunch. I think, that'd be fantastic. I love free food. And then it's a write off with them. As long as he doesn't want to bring Dave. Cause I sometimes would like to KICK Dave, since I seem to be all out of ovaries to suck. I'm also amused that Jim asked me since it was pretty much based on the comment of "Mr. ***** can BITE me. Hard." Jim made me repeat it like, 5 times. Laughing harder each time.

- Since today feels like Friday and it's not, I'm pissed at today. Cause I don't get to see my boyfriend until TOMORROW. Fate is cruel.

- I talk fast. I don't know why. I don't know how. Maybe it's a Jersey thing. But when I talk to people out of state, or people IN state that are older, they have NO FUCKING CLUE what I'm saying. I've learned to slow down at work, and enunciate, but when I'm in a rush, the Jersey comes out of me. I can't help it. JUST FUCKING GO FASTER. If it can't be done in 5 seconds, don't bother, it's too late. Heh.

- A sweet client of ours brought in donuts today. Like, fresh ones. I had two. I am so fat. AND I've been deemed to bring them home. I'm making Jared eat them.

- I am SO going to the gym tonight. Maybe I'll do the treadmill along with the eliptical. See if I can send my body into shock. Patrick says "If you run 5 miles a day, you can eat whatever you want." Hey, Patty, fuck you. You're 27, thin, and have the metabolism of a hamster on crack *and* you run. BITE ME. Although, I have no idea when he finds time to do anything.

- Bodies exhibit on Saturday. If you don't know the details harass my boyfriend. I refuse to be the set up person for this. :)

- Where oh where is this client?? gR.

So everyone's been discussing insurance and car payments due to my new car.

Patrick, from his old job, has New Jersey Manufacturers Insurance. Which is HELLA cheap.

Since we "lost" our old insurance company that the firm usually deals with (he sold his business) Patrick goes to Brian and "sells" him on NJMI.

So. Patrick just signed us up for it.

In about a week, I will be eligble for NJMI. Hence, dropping my very high insurance.

Can you say Squee??

Whenever Patrick & I grommet wills, we fling the "holes" at each other.

Basically, thing of when you hole punch something, and you get that leftover paper. Instead of letting it go to waste, we either flick them at each other or something.

So today, I had him about 10 feet from me, and I had two "shots".

I decided to "blow" them out of the grommets.

He says "BRING IT!" and pretends like he's bracing himself for a hit.

And I nearly hit him both times. 10 feet for fucking little pieces of paper is good shit.

He goes "aaah... You are learning Young Skywalker.. and does the Darth Vader breathing (tm)"

I dunno.

Was funnie to me.

So this client comes in.

She's got "Jersey girl hair".

Patrick comes up to me and goes "What's with the Bon Jovi chick? I think I saw her in a circa 1986 White Snake video sprawled on a Camaro..."

*loses shit*

edit!! he just started singing "When I see you smile"

HAHAHHHAHAHAHAHA

"Holy Bon Jovi, Batman!"

"HERE I GO AGAIN ON MAH OWWNN"

*wheeze*

I just took pix of Patrick, Heidi & my boss.

This is awesome.

And I took pix of my desk. It's a mess.

Mister was actually telling me how to angle the crap on it properly.

Awesome.

I shoulda brought my USB cable in to work! hehehehe...

Patrick says I can post whatever I want, I just can't tell you freaks where he lives.

"Pat did you do *BLEEEP*'s tax return yet?"

"No, I'm still waiting on *hisses* COST BASIS */hiss* from Jay"

"Oh, goodie, take $150 off her charitable deductions. She gave money to something, and found out later it wasn't a true charity."

"It was a porn site wasn't it?"