Day 01 – Introduce yourselfDay 16 – Your first kiss( The Rest )
Day 02 – Your first love
Day 03 – Your parents
Day 04 – What you ate today
Day 05 – Your definition of love
Day 06 – Your day
Day 07 – Your best friend
Day 08 – A moment
Day 09 – Your beliefs
Day 10 – What you wore today
Day 11 – Your siblings
Day 12 – What's in your bag
Day 13 – This week
Day 14 – What you wore today
Day 15 – Your dreams
Ugh. My first kiss. Well, the one I count. It was with this guy named Andre, who I actually still know, but don't have on my Facebook. He knocked up my cousin's friend and they're together now. The kid is cute.
Anyrate. Andre. He was my neighbor back when I was 14 or 15? I really don't remember. I think I may have been closer to 15.
I was really awkward looking for quite some time. At the age of 13, I started attracting unwanted attention from men, and I mean MEN. Older men (like, 40+. Why? I don't fucking know. I was also mistaken as a TEACHER at my 8th grade dance that year. What the fuck people? I HAD ACNE AND BRACES. SEE???)
My cousin Trish & I on the way to the dance.
Anyrate. Around 15? I was invisible. Which was fine. I might have been invisible since I started wearing *super* baggie stuff. Cause ya know. Yeah. Yay 1994.
So, there's a bunch of us. I lived in an apartment complex, you see. And I had a BUNCH of neighbors who were my friends and around my age. Andre & his siblings were new to the complex, and we were all hanging out on the picnic tables in the back. Andre had been showing interest to me in front of my mom, and it was obvious my mom was like "THANK GOD, A BOY LIKES MY DAUGHTER." I think she thought I was a lesbian. OH WAIT. I know she thought that.
She was only half right.
However, at the time, I was insecure, and confused, and didn't know if I was even remotely attracted to him. He had a brother who was a year and a half younger (but I wasn't about to do anything about that, cause he was like, 13 or so, and that was just TOO young. And I was insecurity personified. Even though ALL those boys looked a lot older than they were. The youngest won a 8 year old body building competition at 5... yeah. They even have those.)
After playing Manhunt (Most of the kids were a few years younger than me, but they were fucking ninjas. I miss those days.), we were chilling on this picnic table (that can't possibly exist there anymore since they built ANOTHER set of buildings on that land. RIGHT NEXT TO THE CREEK RUN OFF BASIN!! IDGI.) and Andre starts like. Rubbing my leg.
Okay? Maybe his hand is cold.
Now he's like, laying on my lap. What? Maybe he's tired.
Now he's turned and is like, rubbing my BARE back UNDER MY SHIRT at the same time. Apparently his hand *isn't* cold.
What is going on here?
My friend/neighbor, Alex, notices this and is like "Man, I'm outta here." And sure enough everyone else starts to go home.
His brothers lag behind a bit. Kinda waiting for Andre, but realizing that he's not coming along.
Sure enough we're alone, and I'm like "I guess I should be going in soon," and he's all "No, no, not yet."
He pulls me between his legs, he's sitting on the table part of it, and resting his feet on the bench part, and so we're almost like, spooning but standing? I don't even know how to explain it.
He starts like, kissing my neck and rubbing my breasts and rubbing my sides and making all these teenage horny boy noises.
And AALLLL the while I'm like, uhh.
Cause what the hell do I do?
Also? My mother's bedroom window is NOT FAR AT ALL, and if she were to look out? She would TOTALLY see what was going on. Not to mention she was dating KING of all racists at the time (did I mention Andre is black as black gets? *scrolls up* No, I didn't. He's black as black gets. As Jared would say "somewhere between Denzel Washington and Nelly".), so I am FREAKED OUT that Rich would see and do something stupid.
Instead of thinking about the first sexual encounter I'm having with someone my own friggin age, I am thinking about this shit. And how I don't feel comfortable.
I let this go on for a bit. Then I was like "No, really, I have a curfew" (true, but it wasn't for another hour) and he sighs and walks me toward my apartment, but says underneath my bedroom window "Don't I even get a kiss?" and as I went to answer him, VOOMP.
Tongue down throat.
The bastard had brushed his teeth at some point. HE KNEW. I didn't.
We kissed for like, 30 seconds and he got Roamin' hand syndrome again and I pulled away and that was that. I scampered to my apartment.
The next day he acted all awkward and weird around me like the rest of the guys in my world. Like they didn't want to be seen with me cause I was the chubby weird looking girl and "oh no she might be interested" look. It was annoying. I wasn't interested in him at all. HE was the one who made the moves on me.
Looking back, he might have been trying to reject me since I clearly didn't have an interest in him. But even back then, I was trying to be mature and was all "no, everything is cool."
Fucker even got me in THE WORST trouble I ever got into with my mom.
I had some of my neighbors over when my mom told me not to have anyone. I knew I shouldn't have done it, but we were all laughing and having fun. Andre was in my room and listening to a CD and I saw my mom pull up out my window. I GOT EVERYONE OUT IN TIME except Andre (since he has ALWAYS moved slow and stop), the worst one to be coming out of my bedroom (the rest of my neighbors were really young, or just playing on my keyboard. But here is this 6'5" BOY coming out of MY BEDROOM.)
That was a fun "I can't trust you anymore" conversation. UGGHHH.
So. First kiss. Was lame.
Second kiss didn't happen till I was like, 20. I was a super late bloomer.