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Another journal entry....
Mar. 6th, 2010 07:32 amIn which our heroine rants about her food issues. (this was sparked by a 3 second comment last night which didn't even truly phase me, but I guess SOMEWHERE in my self conscious it must have cause I woke up after a 4 hour "nap" having had a HORRIBLE dream where someone made me eat a jabeñero and I slid into a coma and died.)
Have I ever forced a person with a food allergy to eat that which made them sick?
No.
Why?
Because I have one.
So why is it, when I say I cannot eat spicy foods that people try to say to me "build a tolerance" or "get used to it" or simply SNEAK IT INTO MY FOOD.
I am sensitive to certain tastes. Apparently, thanks to a strip of flavored paper, I am close to being a super taster. Which means I may actually taste more flavors in my foods than you. (The "you" being the hypothetical)
Lucky me. Yes?
Not always.
Sure I can taste the amazingly different flavors in lettuce and water and bread and other mild things that others look at me like I am nuts for saying I can taste.
But. Somethings.
Like, mustard (regular old yellow mustard that people seem to adore) tastes like fiery slime. Sound delicious? Yeah. Mmm... fiery slime.
My favorite example?
I asked for NO MUSTARD when we ate at That Cuban Place once when I ordered a Cuban sandwich, and the "I know better than you" mother who works there put it on anyways. Cause it CLEARLY tastes better with it on. "You will hardly know it's there!" she said. Then why fucking put it on my sandwich? I AM A PAYING FUCKING CUSTOMER! Oh wait. Not anymore. I don't eat there anymore. Andrew did bring me back fried plantains from there not too long ago and they weren't that great. She asked smugly at the end of the meal, thinking she's snuck one by me, if I liked my sandwich and I said "Well, it wasn't bad. If it hadn't been ruined by the mustard it would have been good." Andrew pointed out to me that there was a huge glob of it on there. I didn't see it until he pointed it out and at 2 bites in I hadn't gotten to it, but I continued to eat it, thinking MAYBE I'll be wrong about it. I'll be damned if I didn't think it tasted fucked up and wrong.
Andrew once put a few shakes of mustard powder in something he made, barely discernible by him but made ME go "what's wrong with this. Did you put mustard in this?" His jaw was on the floor.
So. I do not LIKE mustard. My sensitive little taste buds go *eek* and do not want. I do, however, usually appreciate a honey mustard dressing. It's more sweet than anything.
I do not like pepper. Like, regular ol' run of the mill black pepper. Andrew ground it up for something he made in the kitchen. I was in the living room and my eyes started to burn. I said "Jesus, how much pepper are you going to USE??" And he was shocked cause he'd used like, 3 grinds.
But. There is something. And through experimentation, I do not think it is capsaicin, that makes me literally slide into a coma.
I have eaten at a BBQ joint (where I had the fucking SWEET sauce, and it still burned my mouth off) and had to go home after to "sleep" for an hour or two. It's not quite sleep, it's certainly not awake. I lay there, squinting my eyes shut, sometimes in the fetal position, waiting for the horrible ache in my stomach to go away, and the tightness and swelling in my throat to die down. Oh god and the headache. I wish not to discuss it. I have had ocular migraines that didn't hurt that badly.
While I'm eating this, I get a unique sensation. It seems lots of people, while eating spicy food, get an adrenal response, and their cheeks flush and they get all bright eyed.
However, I. I do not. Sometimes I get very pale. Sometimes I get bright red. I become sleepie and upset, because once again, I cannot eat something. (writing this is actually upsetting me cause I am remembering how often my "unenjoyment of things" has bothered someone else's good meal). I will get a false full feeling, where I am suddenly really hungry but completely unable to force food into my mouth. (ever had to belch REALLY BADLY, and once you did you could put more food in just fine, but before that your throat shut saying NONE SHALL PASS OR VOMITUS WILL OCCUR? It feels exactly like that, but there is no relief belch coming.)
Andrew's love (and I mean LOVE) of spicy food has brought this on more often than most. Simply because I am willing to TRY to find something to eat. We won't even go into what happened to me after the Ethiopian food incident. Or how I cried at one Indian restaurant.
Actually. I have had several unfortunate episodes at Indian restaurants, but I finally found ONE restaurant who understands that I canNOT eat spicy food and I have found one dish and a few sides that I can eat. *SQUEE* I think this excites Andrew more than me, if possible, because now we can go out for one of his favorite foods and I can actually eat something. I don't like inconveniencing people. (and gods bless the mango lassi)
You might be like "How is that inconveniencing people?" And you'd be surprised.
Bill has told me to get used to spicy food. To which I reply "get used to eating cheese". He does not like the taste or texture of certain foods, and I have never made him eat them without testing out if something is okay. So why should I have to get over MY food issue, when it makes me physically ill? (btw, this is the 3 second comment that must have sat in my subconscious and festered like a little asshole making that horrible nightmare happen)
Josh has told me "now you know how I feel" when I gave in so he could eat somewhere safe for his religious reasons, not food based allergies (the Indian restaurant). I said "Yours is a CHOICE. Religion is a CHOICE. I have no choice in my food restrictions." I have always let him know when cheese is in something (he is lactose intolerant) and I have made signs for him to know when bacon is in something. And I like bacon. Just cause I like it doesn't mean I should give it to someone who follows a religion saying "Hey. Don't eat pig." Cause that is just mean, right?
I'm just siting these two examples because I remember them at the moment. There are so fucking many I can't count.
Andrew's family, bless their hearts, eat spicy things like my family ate pasta. Due to the people their kids end up with, they have had to severely restrict their menu. One doesn't like mushrooms (and neither does Andrew). One is allergic to wheat. Etc. And now me. With the no spice thing. And they have gone out of their way to make sure I don't get spicy food. We were with them for 5 days over Christmas and his brother-in-law's very Bangladeshi mother made a dish that I could eat, and put the chilies on the side. I gave her a HUGE hug that night. Because she went out of her way for ME, at that point a perfect stranger. I was so touched. It sound stupid, but after years and years of people just not either giving a shit, or not believing me, it was just nice to have people care about my food enjoyment. Especially one who didn't know me.
Oh, and it was *delicious*. Some chicken rice vegetable thing of awesome that I had 3 plates of.
I am also allergic to jasmine. It smells like cat piss to me, which apparently isn't far off because it's in the same family scent-wise as it. Interesting, yes? I either smell something people normally can't, or I don't smell something they can. I think it's the former, but I'm not 100% at the moment. I smell it and it gives me INSTAMIGRAINE. Or, if I'm really lucky! Gives me bleeding blisters in my nose. Yay! Oh wait, and there was that time that I turned into a Joss Whedon vampire for a day and a half during faire season. YOU sell roses knocked up on a shot of 75mg of Benadryl. "You'll be fine. Just don't sit down." "WHAT? It's 11am! I gotta go till at least 8pm, and that's just HERE." I slept like a baby that night. Coma'ed out around 9:30. I woke up still vampiric though. I sold like a beast that day. I think people pitied the vamp.
So.
In short.
Don't try to trick me into eating spicy food. And I won't make sure you're surrounded by bees and scorpians.
Don't tell me to get used to eating spicy food. And I won't lace all your food with arsenic waiting for you to get used to it.
Just try and be respectful of my issues. And I'll try and be respectful of yours in kind.
You can tease me about it, I don't care about that "Oh, make sure to put ALL the peppers in Nikki's food" and I will tease right back. As long as you're not blatantly mean or rude to me and actually do it.
Cause it's not funny. It makes me sick.
Have I ever forced a person with a food allergy to eat that which made them sick?
No.
Why?
Because I have one.
So why is it, when I say I cannot eat spicy foods that people try to say to me "build a tolerance" or "get used to it" or simply SNEAK IT INTO MY FOOD.
I am sensitive to certain tastes. Apparently, thanks to a strip of flavored paper, I am close to being a super taster. Which means I may actually taste more flavors in my foods than you. (The "you" being the hypothetical)
Lucky me. Yes?
Not always.
Sure I can taste the amazingly different flavors in lettuce and water and bread and other mild things that others look at me like I am nuts for saying I can taste.
But. Somethings.
Like, mustard (regular old yellow mustard that people seem to adore) tastes like fiery slime. Sound delicious? Yeah. Mmm... fiery slime.
My favorite example?
I asked for NO MUSTARD when we ate at That Cuban Place once when I ordered a Cuban sandwich, and the "I know better than you" mother who works there put it on anyways. Cause it CLEARLY tastes better with it on. "You will hardly know it's there!" she said. Then why fucking put it on my sandwich? I AM A PAYING FUCKING CUSTOMER! Oh wait. Not anymore. I don't eat there anymore. Andrew did bring me back fried plantains from there not too long ago and they weren't that great. She asked smugly at the end of the meal, thinking she's snuck one by me, if I liked my sandwich and I said "Well, it wasn't bad. If it hadn't been ruined by the mustard it would have been good." Andrew pointed out to me that there was a huge glob of it on there. I didn't see it until he pointed it out and at 2 bites in I hadn't gotten to it, but I continued to eat it, thinking MAYBE I'll be wrong about it. I'll be damned if I didn't think it tasted fucked up and wrong.
Andrew once put a few shakes of mustard powder in something he made, barely discernible by him but made ME go "what's wrong with this. Did you put mustard in this?" His jaw was on the floor.
So. I do not LIKE mustard. My sensitive little taste buds go *eek* and do not want. I do, however, usually appreciate a honey mustard dressing. It's more sweet than anything.
I do not like pepper. Like, regular ol' run of the mill black pepper. Andrew ground it up for something he made in the kitchen. I was in the living room and my eyes started to burn. I said "Jesus, how much pepper are you going to USE??" And he was shocked cause he'd used like, 3 grinds.
But. There is something. And through experimentation, I do not think it is capsaicin, that makes me literally slide into a coma.
I have eaten at a BBQ joint (where I had the fucking SWEET sauce, and it still burned my mouth off) and had to go home after to "sleep" for an hour or two. It's not quite sleep, it's certainly not awake. I lay there, squinting my eyes shut, sometimes in the fetal position, waiting for the horrible ache in my stomach to go away, and the tightness and swelling in my throat to die down. Oh god and the headache. I wish not to discuss it. I have had ocular migraines that didn't hurt that badly.
While I'm eating this, I get a unique sensation. It seems lots of people, while eating spicy food, get an adrenal response, and their cheeks flush and they get all bright eyed.
However, I. I do not. Sometimes I get very pale. Sometimes I get bright red. I become sleepie and upset, because once again, I cannot eat something. (writing this is actually upsetting me cause I am remembering how often my "unenjoyment of things" has bothered someone else's good meal). I will get a false full feeling, where I am suddenly really hungry but completely unable to force food into my mouth. (ever had to belch REALLY BADLY, and once you did you could put more food in just fine, but before that your throat shut saying NONE SHALL PASS OR VOMITUS WILL OCCUR? It feels exactly like that, but there is no relief belch coming.)
Andrew's love (and I mean LOVE) of spicy food has brought this on more often than most. Simply because I am willing to TRY to find something to eat. We won't even go into what happened to me after the Ethiopian food incident. Or how I cried at one Indian restaurant.
Actually. I have had several unfortunate episodes at Indian restaurants, but I finally found ONE restaurant who understands that I canNOT eat spicy food and I have found one dish and a few sides that I can eat. *SQUEE* I think this excites Andrew more than me, if possible, because now we can go out for one of his favorite foods and I can actually eat something. I don't like inconveniencing people. (and gods bless the mango lassi)
You might be like "How is that inconveniencing people?" And you'd be surprised.
Bill has told me to get used to spicy food. To which I reply "get used to eating cheese". He does not like the taste or texture of certain foods, and I have never made him eat them without testing out if something is okay. So why should I have to get over MY food issue, when it makes me physically ill? (btw, this is the 3 second comment that must have sat in my subconscious and festered like a little asshole making that horrible nightmare happen)
Josh has told me "now you know how I feel" when I gave in so he could eat somewhere safe for his religious reasons, not food based allergies (the Indian restaurant). I said "Yours is a CHOICE. Religion is a CHOICE. I have no choice in my food restrictions." I have always let him know when cheese is in something (he is lactose intolerant) and I have made signs for him to know when bacon is in something. And I like bacon. Just cause I like it doesn't mean I should give it to someone who follows a religion saying "Hey. Don't eat pig." Cause that is just mean, right?
I'm just siting these two examples because I remember them at the moment. There are so fucking many I can't count.
Andrew's family, bless their hearts, eat spicy things like my family ate pasta. Due to the people their kids end up with, they have had to severely restrict their menu. One doesn't like mushrooms (and neither does Andrew). One is allergic to wheat. Etc. And now me. With the no spice thing. And they have gone out of their way to make sure I don't get spicy food. We were with them for 5 days over Christmas and his brother-in-law's very Bangladeshi mother made a dish that I could eat, and put the chilies on the side. I gave her a HUGE hug that night. Because she went out of her way for ME, at that point a perfect stranger. I was so touched. It sound stupid, but after years and years of people just not either giving a shit, or not believing me, it was just nice to have people care about my food enjoyment. Especially one who didn't know me.
Oh, and it was *delicious*. Some chicken rice vegetable thing of awesome that I had 3 plates of.
I am also allergic to jasmine. It smells like cat piss to me, which apparently isn't far off because it's in the same family scent-wise as it. Interesting, yes? I either smell something people normally can't, or I don't smell something they can. I think it's the former, but I'm not 100% at the moment. I smell it and it gives me INSTAMIGRAINE. Or, if I'm really lucky! Gives me bleeding blisters in my nose. Yay! Oh wait, and there was that time that I turned into a Joss Whedon vampire for a day and a half during faire season. YOU sell roses knocked up on a shot of 75mg of Benadryl. "You'll be fine. Just don't sit down." "WHAT? It's 11am! I gotta go till at least 8pm, and that's just HERE." I slept like a baby that night. Coma'ed out around 9:30. I woke up still vampiric though. I sold like a beast that day. I think people pitied the vamp.
So.
In short.
Don't try to trick me into eating spicy food. And I won't make sure you're surrounded by bees and scorpians.
Don't tell me to get used to eating spicy food. And I won't lace all your food with arsenic waiting for you to get used to it.
Just try and be respectful of my issues. And I'll try and be respectful of yours in kind.
You can tease me about it, I don't care about that "Oh, make sure to put ALL the peppers in Nikki's food" and I will tease right back. As long as you're not blatantly mean or rude to me and actually do it.
Cause it's not funny. It makes me sick.
