Wait a second... You're saying that for every good guy, there's 10 dirtbags and rapists? Even the statistics that one of the commenters posted don't support that. It very much is a minority, albeit a statistically significantly one.
yes. *i'm* saying that. and i'm not saying it's exact, i haven't done polls. jesus.
you must keep in mind, you have not met me that long. life has not always been as nice as it has been for me. i have been lucky in the people i have met recently.
eric, are you trying to be argumentative with me? are you trying to say what i've experienced is rare, because i know it's not? are you trying to make this subject that has effected me and continues to effect me not as important as it should be to me just because not EVERYONE is like that? i was just posting a link for people to be aware about the ORIGINAL POSTER said. not the biased comments. the OP has a point. if you don't like it, go debate it over there.
i think you're upsetting me, unitentionally, and i am having a hard time being objective now. you should go post these views in that thread.
When I'm at work, in my super "clean" club that has a reputation for letting guys get away with even less than they actually do, maybe 1 guy a night is that super gentleman who won't even put his $1 between my boobs for fear of touching them by accident and disrespecting me. More than half of the rest of them will actively try to squeeze my breast while they do it. For $1. Of that last slightly-less-than-half, many will fold that $1 bill into the tiniest possible size, to try and get the maximum amount of their fingers merely brushing against my skin. For $1.
All night, I am subject to men who think it's totally appropriate not only to grope my breasts, ass, and sometimes even my pussy as I walk past them, without even paying me. They feel that they have already paid the $15 to get into the club, and that it is thus their right as customers to touch my body, regardless of what I may think.
Frequently, regardless of whether or not these men have paid me a dime, me saying "stop," or moving their hands away, or doing anything suggesting that I should have power over what happens to my own body, is met with surprise, confusion, and even hostility. That's when they pay attention to my reaction at all. As often as not, they don't stop, and will continue to grab my ass (where it usually starts), or move on to the other obvious "no-no zones" after being told not to touch me.
What does that say about how these men view the value of any woman? These things happen with sober men, drunk men, white men, black men, latino men, etc...
1 out of every 6 American women has been the victim of an attempted or completed rape in her lifetime (14.8% completed rape; 2.8% attempted rape).1
17.7 million American women have been victims of attempted or completed rape.1
Men: About 3% of American men — or 1 in 33 — have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime.1
* In 2003, 1 in every ten rape victims were male.2 * 2.78 million men in the U.S. have been victims of sexual assault or rape.1
1 = National Institute of Justice & Centers for Disease Control & Prevention. Prevalence, Incidence and Consequences of Violence Against Women Survey. 1998.
In 2004-2005, 64,080 women were raped.8
8 = U.S. Department of Justice. 2005 National Crime Victimization Survey. 2005.
wait, here's what I actually wanted: Every 2 minutes, someone in the U.S. is sexually assaulted.
Here's the math. According to the U.S. Department of Justice's National Crime Victimization Survey -- the country's largest and most reliable crime study -- there were 248,300 sexual assaults in 2007 (the most recent data available).
There are 525,600 minutes in a non-leap year. That makes 31,536,000 seconds/year. So, 31,536,000 divided by 248,300 comes out to 1 sexual assault every 127 seconds, or about 1 every 2 minutes.
The other thing I want to say (although I know this debate happened almost 4 months ago) is that because of sexual harassment in all of its forms, women have also learned to be afraid of men. There is a LOT of sexual harassment that is OK in society. Look anywhere around you and I can guarantee you'll find it, much like the prevalence of homophobia in current society. Furthermore, because of gender specific language, stereotypes, and other ideas, there is further reinforcement that women are objects, not people and therefore its OK to do what you want to and with them. It creates a climate where its not OK for women to do anything because then they "deserve it". Over 50% of rapes are perpetrated by people who know their victims personally, yet those are rarely ever prosecuted or talked about. Generally speaking (and if you want, I'll find the statistics cause I know I'm right on this, at least from what I've learned in a Women in American History class, and other classes, I'm sure), women are more likely to be raped by someone they trust. This adds to the distrust and discourse that you were seeing in the other post.
Oh, last thing: Men have it even worse when they're raped because they have to deal with the fact that almost no one in society believes that can happen to men (much in the same way women are "asking for it" if a man is "hard" then he must want it), and I think that's just as important. Also, they have to deal with the shame they're taught to feel for being "that weak" (I don't believe this, but this is the current view on it and I think that while women also deal with shame, that because of views on masculinity in society that it can create a situation where it is even harder for men to deal with their shame). Secondly, all of this also goes to show how deeply gender as a social construction is ingrained in our society and how much discrimination is really out there.
I'm reading even further back! I had no idea you and your fiance even broke up! I haven't been reading in way over a year. You just have a LOT of posts lol
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timeasmymeasure
no subject
Date: 2009-06-16 07:13 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-06-16 07:24 pm (UTC)you must keep in mind, you have not met me that long. life has not always been as nice as it has been for me. i have been lucky in the people i have met recently.
eric, are you trying to be argumentative with me? are you trying to say what i've experienced is rare, because i know it's not? are you trying to make this subject that has effected me and continues to effect me not as important as it should be to me just because not EVERYONE is like that? i was just posting a link for people to be aware about the ORIGINAL POSTER said. not the biased comments. the OP has a point. if you don't like it, go debate it over there.
i think you're upsetting me, unitentionally, and i am having a hard time being objective now. you should go post these views in that thread.
no subject
Date: 2009-06-16 07:33 pm (UTC)http://cereta.livejournal.com/652008.html?thread=12969960#t12969960
no subject
Date: 2009-06-16 09:46 pm (UTC)All night, I am subject to men who think it's totally appropriate not only to grope my breasts, ass, and sometimes even my pussy as I walk past them, without even paying me. They feel that they have already paid the $15 to get into the club, and that it is thus their right as customers to touch my body, regardless of what I may think.
Frequently, regardless of whether or not these men have paid me a dime, me saying "stop," or moving their hands away, or doing anything suggesting that I should have power over what happens to my own body, is met with surprise, confusion, and even hostility. That's when they pay attention to my reaction at all. As often as not, they don't stop, and will continue to grab my ass (where it usually starts), or move on to the other obvious "no-no zones" after being told not to touch me.
What does that say about how these men view the value of any woman? These things happen with sober men, drunk men, white men, black men, latino men, etc...
no subject
Date: 2009-10-08 03:53 am (UTC)17.7 million American women have been victims of attempted or completed rape.1
Men: About 3% of American men — or 1 in 33 — have experienced an attempted or completed rape in their lifetime.1
* In 2003, 1 in every ten rape victims were male.2
* 2.78 million men in the U.S. have been victims of sexual assault or rape.1
1 = National Institute of Justice & Centers for Disease Control & Prevention. Prevalence, Incidence and Consequences of Violence Against Women Survey. 1998.
In 2004-2005, 64,080 women were raped.8
8 = U.S. Department of Justice. 2005 National Crime Victimization Survey. 2005.
Source: http://www.rainn.org/get-information/statistics/sexual-assault-victims
no subject
Date: 2009-10-08 04:00 am (UTC)Here's the math. According to the U.S. Department of Justice's National Crime Victimization Survey -- the country's largest and most reliable crime study -- there were 248,300 sexual assaults in 2007 (the most recent data available).
There are 525,600 minutes in a non-leap year. That makes 31,536,000 seconds/year. So, 31,536,000 divided by 248,300 comes out to 1 sexual assault every 127 seconds, or about 1 every 2 minutes.
The webpage (http://www.rainn.org/get-information/statistics/frequency-of-sexual-assault) goes on to say that rape in the US has declined by 60% since 1993, but that's still a hell of a lot of rape going on.
The other thing I want to say (although I know this debate happened almost 4 months ago) is that because of sexual harassment in all of its forms, women have also learned to be afraid of men. There is a LOT of sexual harassment that is OK in society. Look anywhere around you and I can guarantee you'll find it, much like the prevalence of homophobia in current society. Furthermore, because of gender specific language, stereotypes, and other ideas, there is further reinforcement that women are objects, not people and therefore its OK to do what you want to and with them. It creates a climate where its not OK for women to do anything because then they "deserve it". Over 50% of rapes are perpetrated by people who know their victims personally, yet those are rarely ever prosecuted or talked about. Generally speaking (and if you want, I'll find the statistics cause I know I'm right on this, at least from what I've learned in a Women in American History class, and other classes, I'm sure), women are more likely to be raped by someone they trust. This adds to the distrust and discourse that you were seeing in the other post.
no subject
Date: 2009-10-08 04:04 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-08 04:06 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-08 04:08 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2009-10-08 04:27 am (UTC)